Board Games
by Kiki102
Summary: Or how Sherlock ensured that every board game was banned. John knew this was a bad idea, but Mary insisted it would be fun. He'd remind her of that later. "What's the worst that could happen?" Sherlock said. Really? The worst that could happen? Companion fic to Sherlock's Infant Instructions


"I really don't think this is a good idea," John said worriedly.

He stood in the middle of 221b's living room, arms folded, watching the scene which he was sure was only a matter of time before it descended into chaos. Sherlock was lounging in his chair with Oliver sitting on the floor on one side, and Amy and Jack on the other. In the middle of their little gathering waited a table, where Mary was currently placing the object which could turn this calm, quiet evening into a disaster zone with definite casualties and possible fatalities.

A Monopoly board.

This could only end badly.

True, there were varying degrees of how badly it could end, but there was no way in the universe that this could end well. And John knew that due to the simple fact that he had once played Cluedo with Sherlock. He still bore the scars, not unlike the Cluedo board, which remained pinned to the wall above the fireplace with Sherlock's knife.

Repeat, this could not end well.

"Relax John, what's the worst that could happen?" Sherlock replied. John raised an eyebrow, staring at his friend. _Really? What's the worst that could happen? With us in the room?_ he thought. Sherlock smirked.

"Come on John, stop moaning. It'll be fun," Mary said as the children quickly snapped up their favourite pieces - Amy the dog, Jack the car and Oliver the battleship. It'll be fun. He would remind her of that later John decided as he sat down in his chair.

XOXOXOX

"What? That's ridiculous! Why should I go to jail?" Sherlock argued.

"Because the card says so, Sherlock," John replied.

"What was my crime? How did they prove it was me? What evidence was shown to the jury so they arrived at a guilty verdict?" Sherlock was not about to let this go that easily. Amy and Jack stared, wide eyed and slightly shell-shocked. John didn't blame them.

"There was no crime," Mary explained. "You just have to go to jail."

"I just have to?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it's in the rules," Mary replied.

"The rules say you have to go to jail despite there being no trail, no evidence, no investigation, no victim and no crime?"

"Yes."

"Then the rules are wrong!" Sherlock declared. John rolled his eyes. Now where had he heard that before?

"The rules can't be wrong, they're the rules," Mary argued, not prepared to let it go. Oliver's head went back and forth between mary and Sherlock as if watching a tennis match.

"But it's ridiculous! How can they just tell someone to go to jail for no reason? Laws were introduced to stop the police from carrying out this kind of corruption. And then a board game comes along and tells children that people can just be thrown into jail willy nilly."

John stared at his best friend. Willy nilly? This was clearly going too far.

"Maybe we should try another game?" he suggested, interrupting Mary's retort.

XOXOXOX

"Hecatomb."

"Sorry, what?" John asked.

"Hecatomb," Sherlock repeated.

"What's a… hec… hecatom?" Amy frowned.

"Hecatomb," Sherlock corrected. "Means a great slaughter, in ancient Greek and Roman times it referred to the killing of 100 oxen in public. Common knowledge. Really John, I'm surprised you haven't taught her this."

"Sherlock, she's five! Of course she doesn't know what it means. i don't know what it means! And I'm not particularly sure I want her to know what it means."

"I thought education was a good thing?"

"Not when it's teaching a five and three year old about mass murder!"

John glowered at Sherlock, the two of them engaged in a staring match.

"Maybe Junior Scrabble wasn't the best idea..." Mary said, breaking the silence.

XOXOXOX

"I preferred Scrabble," Sherlock grumbled.

"That's because you were winning," John replied. Sherlock grinned. John frowned. There was no way round it. Sherlock was just too tall. He'd have to go under him. "Don't you dare fall on me," he warned, ducking under Sherlock's chest to put his hand on the nearest blue circle.

"What's the point of this game?" Sherlock asked.

"It's fun," Mary replied. "Amy, left foot green."

"Fun... Nope."

"It's fun for normal people," John replied. Sherlock hung his head, looking at John upside down.

"Are you having fun?" he asked. John ignored him.

"Olly, right hand on red," Mary said. "Sherlock, left foot blue."

"Not possible."

"Nothing's impossible. When you've ruled out the improbable whatever remains must be the answer," John quipped.

"Then the answer is I can't do it," Sherlock snapped.

"Say that again, I want to be able to fully appreciate it."

Glowering, Sherlock lifted his left leg, with the aim of trying to reach a blue circle and accidentally-on-purpose kicked John's arm, causing his to fall down.

"You did that on purpose," John said.

"Nope," Sherlock replied, popping the 'P', now perfectly able to reach the blue circle.

XOXOXOX

"Well that was... an evening," Mary said, picking up a sound asleep Jack and heading downstairs.

"John," Sherlock said, indicating to Oliver who was dozing in his armchair.

"Your son, your problem," John replied, before carrying Amy downstairs.

Huffing, Sherlock picked up Oliver and carried his up to John's old room. When he returned downstairs, his phone buzzed.

_For future reference Sherlock, all board games are now banned. Not just cluedo – MW_.

Sherlock grinned. Looks like it wasn't a wasted night after all.

_Goodnight Mary – SH_

_Goodnight Sherlock – MW_


End file.
